Rogue One Trailer 2 Description!

Update: A secretly recorded footage of the trailer has been uploaded at the end. Watch it before Disney contacts us with a DMCA request!

It’s Star Wars Celebration! As expected, the second trailer for Rogue One has debuted, but only for attendees of the event.

Our Bothan spy “Stormtrooper Harry” happens to be in London, and was able to witness the exclusive 1-minute trailer. Here’s the description for all you freeloaders.

Enjoy!


The screen opens up with a glowing technical readout of some kind. The crowd cheers.

Next we see a little girl, young Jyn Erso, running around a green landscape. She looks up as a black shuttle, Director Krennic’s personal shuttle, roars overhead.

The scene shifts to the grown Jyn Erso, running again, this time in a chaotic tropical battlefield (likely the planet Scarif). In the background we see Cassian Andor and other rebel soldiers running alongside as explosions sprout all around.

Cue Jyn’s voice over: “There isn’t much time. Every day we grow weaker.”

Cut to captured Rebel pilots in their orange jumpsuits, being marched down an alley with hands on their heads. Captain Andor in disguise observes the prisoner march.

“While the day grows grimmer…”

Grim Death Troopers stride over the verdant landscape of Jyn’s childhood. Then the familiar close-up of a black trooper as something burns in the background, perhaps the Erso home.

Next, Mon Mothma and the rebellion high command looking up from the planning table in Yavin IV. Then black-clad troopers running through a jungle.

Back to Jyn: “We still have a chance. To make a real difference.” 

Quick shots in succession:

Regular stormtroopers wading through the idyllic surf on Scarif.

A couple of Imperial technicans, seated at what looks to be the Death Star’s firing control panel.

Director Krennic in his familiar pose on the Death Star’s bridge.

A ship flying through a desert canyon.

A huge four-winged shuttle folding its wings and coming in for a landing in a downtown alley, as a massive Star Destroyer looms overhead.

One of the Rogue One aliens cocking a blaster on Scarif, preparing for battle.

Then familiar scenes from the first trailer:

The four-winged shuttle blowing up.

Director Krennic striding through the water laden with dead bodies.

The hooded figure kneeling.

A bunch of stormtroopers and tank troopers running.

Baze fleeing from an explosion.

Jyn looking at the hovertank patrol.

Rebel soldiers trading fire with Death troopers.

A closeup of Chirrut, followed by the stick asskicking he gives to stormtroopers.

The Death Star superlaser dish being locked in place amid a flotilla of Star Destroyers.

Then a silence. A pause.

A blood-red technical readout is reflected off a gleaming floor. Standing in the middle is a foreboding figure, the Dark Lord of the Sith himself, as a familar breathing rasp fills the room.

The crowd erupts.

Title card: Rogue One. December.


Update:

Someone took a sly recording of the trailer itself! To shield us from the evil Disney Empire, watch it from a third-party site.

Stay tuned as we bring you more news from Star Wars Celebration!

Rogue One: Photoshopped Visual Guide Leak!

We have less than 24 hours before Star Wars Celebration and the next trailer for Rogue One!

So before the new trailer drops, it’s time we revealed exclusive Rogue One leaks from the official visual guide book, courtesy of Stormtrooper Larry!

rogue one cover.jpg

Click to expand the images. Enjoy!


The plot

rogue one larry.jpg

Between the ragtag Rebellion and the tyrannical Galactic Empire stands a mysterious figure known only as “Stormtrooper Larry”.

While his ultimate allegiance is unknown, one thing is certain. The mysterious person behind the helmet has incredibly good looks more devastating than the Death Star’s superlaser.

The villains

rogue one villains.jpg

As expected, it’s a bunch of people who loves masks and dress in either black or white. They also speak with a stiff British upper lip.

The sole exception is a mysterious Gungan with an annoying high-pitched Jamaican accent. Rumor is this secret apprentice of Darth Vader is even higher up than Director Krennic, and personally designed the Death Star’s exhaust port.

A new Imperial Walker

rogue-one-at-act.jpg

Who cares about a boring cargo carrier? Check out the Emperor’s personal walker, the ACH-OUCH.

This 2-ton monstrosity is both too heavy and too cumbersome for practical use. In fact, it takes full mastery of the dark side just to lift the damn thing, and it’s the reason why Palpatine became a stooped geezer.

But the Emperor can’t be seen using just any old walker. It can only be the Imperial Walker.

The U-wing

uwing.jpg

Before the Rebellion got their fancy Incom X-wings and Y-wings, they had to make do with cheap-ass starfighters. The U-wing is actually short for “Yugo-Wing”. Mon Mothma acquired a dozen of the shitty econo-boxes from Watto’s Used Ship Lot (as-is, no warranty).

The TIE Wheelchair

rogue-one-tie-striker.jpg

Not to be outdone by the Rebellion, the Imperial Navy fielded an ever shittier starfighter. The TIE Wheelchair was assigned to whiny TIE pilots who complained about the lack of shields, life support and peripheral awareness in the regular TIE fighter.

TIE Wheelchair pilots had a 400% combat mortality rate. They were unable to take part in the Battle of Yavin after the whole corps was depleted in Rogue One.

The Imperial hovertank

rogue one hover tank.jpg

We don’t know yet if it’s really a tank or the Imperial version of a Humvee. But damn, that is one weird-looking tank trooper.

And yet, it’s still better than those idiotic Shoretroopers.

Rogue One: What if it’s NOT a Hovertank?

We’re just 4 days away from Star Wars Europe, and what will surely be a Rogue One extravaganza!

So let’s take a look at one of the most anticipated vehicles this September, the Imperial hovertank from the trailer.

rogue-one-stromtroopers-and-tank

A straightforward beast, right? Massive side guns, sloping front, and heavily armored to withstand cowardly attacks from rebel scum. Definitely a tank.

Or is it?

Last May, we brought you the leaked images of the Rogue One Lego sets. And from there we saw a full-body photo of the tank:

Lego won’t allow us to post the leaked image. Click the pic to view the unblurred version from a hosting site.

rogue one lego hovertank leak orange box

Lego set 75152 turned out to be the vehicle in the trailer. However, it’s full-body appearance was different enough that people who didn’t see the trailer called it a speeder, instead of a hovertank.

In fact, before the Lego photos were leaked, we were able to obtain a description of the sets from noted Lego insider Just2Good. He described the set as an “Imperial speeder” a full three weeks before the photos came out.

Here’s a pretty good recreation of the Lego set, courtesy of Youtuber BrickWizard59:

lego rogue one hovertank leak

A cab, sloped front, and a flatbed. Do you know what that looks like to us? This:

humvee

Heck, it’s even carrying cargo at the back: those mysterious orange crates that seem to be scattered all over planet Scarif!

Here’s another custom build, courtesy of brick fan Rebel Builder:

custom lego rogue one hovertank

Take away the side guns and what you have is the Imperial version of the Humvee. An armored pickup truck for carrying cargo and patrolling dusty streets.

So if it’s a light pickup, what’s their version of a “Deuce”, a 6×6 truck? That would be the All-Terrain Armored Cargo Transport, or AT-ACT:

star-wars-celebration-at-act-rogue-one

And if the AT-ACT is “just” a truck, what would the Empire consider as a main battle tank? Nothing less than this:

atat cross-sectionA frontline tank and APC in one

Remember, these are the same guys who build mile-long destroyers and moon-sized battlestations. So when it comes to the Galactic Empire, what might look like a tank to us could be nothing more than a Humvee. A heavily armed and floating Humvee.

And if it’s not a “hovertank”, it won’t be the first time we all got something wrong…

stormtrooper hoverboard funny

Rogue One: 1st Wave of Titanium Vehicles Revealed

Historically, one of the biggest sources of Star Wars leaks has been merchandising. For Rogue One, we’ve already had the Edelweiss book leak, the Lego constructs, and the even juicier Lego ship sets (for which Lego’s legal team actually contacted us).

Today, we have yet another leak, and it comes from Stormtrooper Larry’s favorite toy line: the Hasbro Titanium series.

The Titanium line are 3-inch diecast models of Star Wars ships, all the way from the Original Trilogy to last year’s The Force Awakens. For 2016, we’ve received intel on what the first wave of Rogue One Titaniums will be.

These are:

The U-wing

This is the combination gunship / troop carrier of the Rebellion, similar to the old Republic LAAT

The TIE Striker

For this ship, the retail codename is “Raven”. However, since the Hotwheels 2-pack version is labeled “Raven Deluxe vs. X-wing”, our source may be wrong. The Raven may actually be the regular TIE fighter, while the TIE Striker might be under the codename Raven Deluxe

The black Imperial Shuttle

.This shuttle is NEITHER the old Lambda-class, nor the huge black ship that gets blown up in the trailer. It appears to be a totally new design we haven’t seen officially yet.

Codename “Vulture”

No further information

Codename “Owl”

No further information

Interestingly, this is the first time we’ve heard of the “Vulture” and the “Owl”, since neither were included in the leaked Italian version of the Lego May-Dec 2016 catalog.

During the prequel era of the 2000’s, the first Titanium leaks came from Hong Kong and China, as Hasbro’s partner factories sold the product prototypes on eBay. So if you’re looking for the first glimpse of a Rogue One Titanium, go eastward!

Update:

We’ve just received intel that toy manufacturer Mattel is cracking down on their similarly sized Hot Wheels Starships. The first mention of the “Raven” came from a product listing of Hot Wheels 2-ship packs, which had “Raven Deluxe vs X-wing” among the case.

US retailers have reportedly been told to scrub the product from their online listings. According to our source, 4-case shipments will now be comprised of:

2x Slave I vs. Jedi Starfighter
1x Star Destroyer vs. Mon Calamari Cruiser
1x Ghost vs. TIE Fighter (Rebels)

If this is accurate, they doubled the “Slave I vs Jedi Starfighter” packs to replace the “Raven vs. X-wing”. Or it may just be a smokescreen to shield the Rogue One pack that will be included in the 4-pack case.

Harrods to Showcase Original TFA Props

Just in time for Star Wars Celebration, the famous Harrods in London is joining the Star Wars bandwagon with its own exhibit!

The iconic department store is holding The Star Wars Gallery, which will feature authentic props used in The Force Awakens. 

Some of the original props include:

harrods falcon prop

  • Kylo Ren’s crossguard lightsaber
  • Rey’s scavenger staff
  • Luke’s lost lightsaber
  • Chewie’s bowcaster

Also on display are full-size figures of Captain Phasma in her chrome armor, a First Order stormtrooper, Rey’s desert outfit, BB-8 and more, to compete with the Rogue One exhibit in nearby London Exhibition Centre.

If that’s not enough, the posh department store also has a full-size mockup of the Falcon’s cockpit, as well as the ship’s iconic holochess table and wraparound sofa.

harrods falcon exhibit

Of course, this being Harrods, even their Falcon sofa isn’t as rundown as the real Star Wars Episode VIII prop teased by director Rian Johnson today:

A photo posted by Rian Johnson (@riancjohnson) on

A filthy sofa like this probably won’t get within 2 blocks of Harrods

But that’s not all. Fans with deep pockets can bring home a souvenir… and we don’t mean half-melted helmets or overpriced junk.

Propshop, the same outfit used by Pinewood Studios to create props for the new Star Wars movies, is on hand to offer something new: custom-made action figures.

For £1,595 (around $2,060), Propshop will do a 3-D scan of your body onsite using their “photogrammetry” system. The rig is comprised of 50 high-resolution cameras, the same technology used to capture the cast of TFA for merchandising. At that price, it isn’t just custom… it’s bespoke, as the British would say. It takes 12 weeks to create one figure.

The full-body scans will form the template for your very own action figure, around the same size of Jakks Pacific’s 18-inch Big Figs line. There are three TFA models to choose from: First Order stormtrooper, T-70 X-wing pilot, and TIE Fighter pilot. They come in male and female versions

harrods propshop custom figure.jpg

If that sounds a tad expensive, you can just ogle the exhibit like the freeloading scavenger you are. Entrance to the Star Wars Gallery is free, but on an appointment basis.

The exhibit runs at the fourth floor of Harrods London from July to August 21. So if you’re in the UK for Star Wars Celebration Europe, make sure to drop by Harrods and book your time slot!

 

Star Wars Episode VIII According to a Spambot!

Last time, we looked at the Rogue One visual guide book leak through the eyes of a spambot.

Today, while stuck in a boring synergy meeting, Stormtrooper Larry wandered over to the ol’ spam site again, to see its penetrating insights on Star Wars Episode VIII.

Here’s what we found.

We may well be years clear of the release of Star Wars Episode VIII, however as The Pressure Awakens taught us, that point can fly earlier in no time.

Little is understood approximately what VIII’s tale will cling, however we do recognize that it’s going to pick out up immediately after The Drive Awakens, with Rey having found out Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts, as showed by way of the teaser trailer.

Clearly this bot has memory issues. Which is it: The Pressure Awakens or The Drive Awakens? Next thing you’ll be saying it’s The Exertion Rouses!

star wars force awakens funny

Profound questions

Despite the bot’s dementia, it was insightful enough to ask penetrating questions:

The Drive Awakens left many questions unanswered. Who’s Rey in reality? Is Finn Drive delicate? What is with C-3PO’s pink arm? Why is R2-D2, the bearer of all wisdom who refuses to inform any person anything else, this sort of dick?

So in the intervening years between The Pressure Awakens and Episode VIII, it seems Threepio’s arm has changed from red to pink. That prissy droid changes arms like a handbag.

Forget about whether Finn is Force sensitive… the real question is: is he Drive delicate? And more importantly, why is R2-D2 such a goddawful dick? Those are the hard-hitting questions that fans demand to know, Abrams!

r2d2 funnyI swear Artoo, you’re such a dick!

A pleasurable solution to Rey

Colin Trevorrow, who will probably be directing Episode IX, has already promised us a “profoundly pleasurable” solution to the thriller surrounding Rey’s oldsters.

“Rey is a personality that may be essential on this universe, now not simply within the context of The Pressure Awakens, however in all of the galaxy,” he stated. “She merits it. We’re going to be sure that that solution is one thing that feels love it used to be one thing that came about a very long time in the past, a long way away, and we are simply telling you what came about.”

While we don’t understand a single word about the solution to Rey’s oldsters, we’re thrilled to know it will be a “profoundly pleasurable” one. In fact, we feel a disturbance in the Pressure, as if a million voices sighed with anticipation, from Reywalkers to Reynobis.

Torn between the darkness and the sunshine

The Drive Awakens ended with a wounded Kylo Ren being taken to Very best Chief Snoke to finish his coaching – however what does that imply?

We think one of the most movie will display Luke coaching Rey, reminiscent of his personal coaching from Yoda in The Empire Moves Again. It is going to even be fascinating to peer how Kylo Ren’s personality develops. He simply murdered his personal father, however he is nonetheless conflicted among the darkish aspect and the sunshine – or used to be Han’s dying the general a part of his transition to Sith?

Well if you ask us, Stormtrooper Larry thinks that Ben’s “simple murder” of his personal father cemented him into the darkish part of the Pressure.

We also think that Very best Chief Snoke isn’t a Sith (they became extinct in Recurrence of the Jedi), but that guy surely ain’t part of the sunshine.

kylo ren torn apart funny.gif

Btw, anybody got a copy of The Empire Moves Again?

 

Rogue One Lego Leak: The Raven

During our previous Lego leak, we were hit by multiple DMCA requests and two legal notices from Lego. Sadly, Stormtrooper Larry can’t repel firepower of that magnitude. This time, the photos will be hosted offsite.


Twice each year, Lego comes out with a catalog for the remaining half of the year. And like clockwork, the Lego Catalog for July – December 2016 came out a few days ago.

But the Lego catalog is not the same globally. In fact, there are tiny differences between each country. While Portugal and Spain get 140 pages worth of Lego goodness, the Aussies have to make do with just 100 pages.

While poring over each of the catalogs like the Death Star’s technical readout, we discovered something. For most countries, the Rogue One section contained only a brief teaser, like this one for the US catalog:

lego rogue one star wars 2016 catalog

However, the Italian catalog included the box set numbers:

lego star wars rogue one catalog 2016

What’s more, it went BEYOND  the teaser and included the names for three of the Rogue One ships:

Click on the image for the uncensored version NOT hosted herelego star wars rogue one catalog leak update

According to the Italian Lego catalog, the names are:

Set 75154 – Raven Deluxe

Set 75155 – Unicorn

Set 75156 – Black Bird

Now let’s cross-reference them with our Lego leak from two months ago:

Lego forced us to edit the original photo. Click on the image for the unedited pic.rogue one lego set leak

Voila! Now we can match the set numbers with the names:

Set 75154 – Raven Deluxe is actually the TIE Striker

Set 75155 – Unicorn is the massive U-wing troop transport

Set 75156 – Black Bird is the mysterious black Imperial shuttle

We’re guessing these are just code names for the actual ship models.

After all, the Hasbro Black Series figures for Rogue One have names like “Seal Droid” (K-2SO), “Blue Seal Communicator” (maybe Riz Ahmed), “Shark Trooper” and “Green Seal Leader”. These are obviously placeholders for retail SKUs until the Disney marketing machine gives the green light.

Thanks to our source Just2Good, a renowned Lego insider, we even know the MSRP and brick count for the three ships:

Set 75154 – TIE Striker aka “Raven Deluxe”, 543 pieces, €69.99, £59.99, $69.99

Set 75155 – U-wing aka “Unicorn”, 659 pieces, €79.99, £64.99, $69.99

Set 75156 – Imperial shuttle aka “Black Bird”, 863 pieces, €99.99, £79.99, $89.99

We can see how the brick count and retail prices match with the box sizes from Lego:

star wars rogue one lego catalog 2016 leak spoiler news

While our Bothan analysts pored over the catalog, the spies at Yakface found a corroborating piece of evidence. Two days ago, Entertainment Earth posted a new listing for Hotwheels 2-pack vehicles:

raven starship rogue one

Notice how the 2-packs pit opposing vehicles:

  • Star Destroyer vs. Mon Cal cruisers
  • Snowspeeders vs. Imperial walkers.

What goes against an X-wing and happens to match the Lego set number? The TIE Striker.

And why is it labeled “Raven Deluxe”? Because the normal “Raven” is probably the regular TIE Fighter!

And that concludes our Lego investigation.

Happy weekend!

Rogue One: Interview with a Former Production Crew

Now that it’s July, we’re just two weeks away from Star Wars Celebration, and what will surely be a Rogue One extravaganza!

If you can’t wait that long, Stormtrooper Larry interviewed a former film crew member during Rogue One’s initial production last year.

Our low-level source, whom we’ll call “Monty” is low enough in the production hierarchy that he can’t offer any plot leaks or earth-shattering revelations. However, what Monty provides is a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at what filming the movie was like.

What exactly did you do in Rogue One?

I can’t be more specific, but let’s just say I worked under the Director of Photography.

When did you sign on?

I signed the contract first quarter last year. To get us hyped up for the shoot, they showed a short pre-production clip. It was a slow pan of a green planet, then a TIE fighter entered the frame. As the camera followed the fighter soaring over the planet, the view swiveled up to show the Death Star in the distance!

We understand you can’t tell us any leaks or spoilers about Rogue One.

Yes. When you sign on, there’s a thick Non-Disclosure binder. It basically says to keep mum about the whole project for four years, or else Lucasfilm and Lunak (Heavy Industries Ltd, the production name behind Rogue One) can take legal action against you. Even after filming has wrapped up.

Without spoiling anything, can you share a memorable scene from production?

You know how the prequels got a lot of flak for being full of green-screen? Well in Rogue One it’s really old school. We built a giant sandbox in the backlot (of Pinewood Studios in the UK, where Rogue One was filmed).

All I can say is it’s a beach scene. The actual “sea” part of the beach was shot elsewhere, but the rest of the footage, including a coastal battle, was shot in a heavily cordoned area in Buckinghamshire. We even had to wait for the perfect weather to film that scene. It’s going to be incredible on the big screen.

We also marry practical effects with CGI. For example, there’s a scene that takes place in a rundown urban setting. Think Baghdad or Syria. Instead of using a chroma key backdrop (green screen), we actually built physical store fronts and staged real explosions. The CGI part comes from the units taking part in the battle.

I believe combining old-school props with digital VFX is the best formula. Instead of staring at a green curtain, the cast interacts with physical props. It immerses them in this galaxy far, far away and enables them  to act more convincingly. When the good guys flinch from an explosion, they’re not acting. It’s a real reaction caught on camera. Contrast that with films like  The Jungle Book, which was all green screened inside a soundstage.

For you, what was the best part of production?

Besides being able to put Star Wars on my resume? (Laughs).

Well I wasn’t lucky enough to be part of the camera crew that filmed the beach scene on a tropical island abroad. But I did get to visit RAF Cardington (a historic air base in the UK). We turned this giant hangar into a set, and we did so with great care since it was an airship shed with a history dating back to World War I!

We even used active service members from the RAF and Army Air Corps as extras. I can’t reveal their roles, let’s just say it was a natural fit for them.

And what was the worst part of production, if any?

Well we used an IMAX camera, an Arri Alexa 65. It shot tremendously beautiful footage on ultra widescreen 65mm film in 6k resolution. The large format simply blows away 35mm film. However to do that it needed a LOT of light, and it was a massive pain to set up the gobos and stage lights to get the lighting just right.

It’s also a fairly new camera with a limited selection of lenses. So if we wanted to zoom in, for example, we had to physically move the unit instead of using a zoom lens. The grips (in charge of the dollies and rigging) and the gaffers (in charge of the lights) really earned their pay.

What can you tell us about the reshoots?

There’s nothing much to say that hasn’t been said already.

Most of the film crew is the same, but they had to look for new extras. That was assigned to Twickenham Film Studios, and they put out a casting call last month. We were able to poach the casting director who did Harry Potter, War Horse and Kingdom of Heaven. Since the reshoots will be in Pinewood, anyone interested to be a “moving prop” should have the legal right to work in the UK.

We did have a good laugh when the tabloids said Chris (McQuarrie) was “taking over” the reshoots. There’s such a thing as the Director’s Guild, and one of the basic rules is that there can only be one director per film. There are exceptions when the directors previously worked together like the Wachowski brothers. The Han Solo film belongs in that category since (directors) Phil Lord and Chris Miller co-directed the Lego movie.

Do you know anything about Star Wars Episode VIII?

Nope, totally different production company and film crew. About the only shared resource we have in common is the physical location, Pinewood Studios, and specialist production outfits like the prop makers.

However, the photography crew all winced when we heard their IMAX was damaged during filming in Ireland. If it’s anything like our Alexa unit, it’s going to be rare, expensive and hard to replace, since the cameras are in extremely short supply.

What was it like to work with Gareth Edwards?

I’m low enough on the menu that I didn’t get to work with him personally. My crew reported to Doug Fraser, the director of photography who also did Zero Dark Thirty.

That said, the crews have tremendous respect for Gareth. This is the guy who did Monsters on a tight wallet, with an off-the-shelf Sony EX-3 and a regular Nikon lens. Hell, the rental, transportation and insurance charges of our IMAX camera alone cost more than that movie’s entire budget!

Do you have a message for Star Wars fans?

Star Wars has the magical ability to transport you to a different galaxy.

When you watch Rogue One for the second or third time, look beyond the planets and try to peer behind the scenes. You’ll find that the production process can be even more amazing than the finished film.

The good guys are actually operating out of a historic airship hangar used by the RAF, and that tropical planet is actually the concrete backlot of a studio in Iver Heath!

Monty” would like to greet his wife Mrs. M a happy anniversary. “either in the last month or the next two months.” Not because he forgot the exact date, but because he can’t be more specific.

 

Review: Bandai Star Destroyer Model Kit

If there’s anything Stormtrooper Larry loves about Star Wars, it’s the ships. And we’re not talking the tiny snubfighters and their little dogfights. We’re talking about the big dogs of space battles: the capital ships.

Ever since the Star Destroyer crawled on top of the screen in A New Hope, its imposing wedge shape became part of popular culture. And Bandai seeks to capture that massive presence in a compact, budget-friendly model kit with their new Vehicle Line series, which only costs around $8-10.

Background

Famous for their Gundam model kits, Japanese kit maker Bandai expanded into the Star Wars universe last year with their wave of OT and TFA vehicles.

The models ranged from 1/48 to 1/72 scale, and were “snap-kits”, requiring no glue or cement. They were highly praised for their fine detailing and large size, rivaling much pricier brands like Fine Molds.

With their matchbox-sized Vehicle Line, Bandai seeks to replicate that success in a tinier scale that’s accessible for children, budget- and skill-wise. In fact, we got this kit for US$8.50!

Packaging

Enough with the chitchat. Let’s get down to business.

bandai star destroyer - Copy

The kit comes in a small box, roughly 6 x 3 inches, small enough to be grasped with one palm.

bandai star destroyer box.JPG

Most of the box labels is in Japanese with English translations. To date there are two models in the series, the Star Destroyer (001) and the classic T-65 X-wing (002).

bandai star destroyer instructions.JPG

Rather than a traditional leaflet, the instructions are printed inside the box lids to drive down cost. Unlike the larger models, instructions for the Vehicle Series come with English translations. The simple build process and straightforward photos make such translations unnecessary.

Contents

Inside, the kit comes with 5 sprues trees:

bandai star destroyer review

A1 holds the uppermost parts for the bridge, as well as the rear section:

bandai star destroyer parts.JPG

A2 is the dorsal half of the hull, the communications array, and the two sides of the conning tower:

bandai star destroyer hull.JPG

A3 completes the top details, containing the the upper decks, hull sides and engine nozzles:

bandai star destroyer contents

A4 is the bottom half of the hull, along with the shield generators:

bandai star destroyer sprues.JPG

Finally, A5 holds the stand. This is the only part of the kit that has slight discoloration, noticeable because its black:

IMG_9287.JPG

Assembly

True to Bandai form, all pieces were crisp and snapped off without a hitch. Often all you have to do is a snip a single sprue, and you can snap off the part from the remaining sprues.

The only pieces we don’t recommend snapping by hand are the hull sides, since these long parts might break in half.

bandai star destroyer manual.JPG

The ship is divided into 4 parts: the main hull, upper deck, conning tower, and finally the bridge superstructure. As a snapkit model, all the pieces locked into place without modeling cement.

bandai star destroyer tower.JPG

Total assembly time was a leisurely 10-15 minutes, including the time spent taking pictures for you freeloaders.

Impressions

And here’s the finished product: the fearsome mile-long Imperator-class Star Destroyer., the backbone of the Imperial Navy.

bandai star destroyer built.JPG

Details are crisp enough to pick out the individual ridges, portholes and armor plates that dot the surface of the ship.

The model rests on a ball joint so you can pose the destroyer any way you please:

bandai star destroyer side.JPG

A closer look at the conning tower. You can make out the bridge windows as well as myriad details on the raised decks above the hull!

bandai star destroyer details

Same story for the rear, with exceptional detailing on the hull, engine nozzles, and even the area where they eject space trash:

bandai star destroyer rear.JPG

Size

The most amazing thing about the Bandai Star Destroyer is the size. All of these excellent details are packed in a ship only slightly larger than a Titanium:

bandai star destroyer titanium comparison.JPG

In fact, this tiny terror measures just shy of 4 inches long, only one inch bigger than its Titanium cousin.

bandai star destroyer size.JPG

Painting and weathering

Since stormtroopers have poor aim, we decided to leave the model unpainted lest we turn it into a psychedelic art ship crewed by hippies.

However, Stormtrooper Larry knows one poor man’s weathering trick: we simply took a pencil and rubbed the lead all over the surface.

bandai star destroyer painted.JPG

While not as good as a “model wash”, it helped bring out the surface details while giving the ship a metallic look.

bandai star destroyer bottom.JPG

And that’s it for our review! Now go buy your own model while we make humming noises for our ship.

The Imperial Star Destroyer Fornicator has planets to subdue.

Rogue One Photoshop Bonanza!

This week, Entertainment Weekly released a bunch of exclusive photos on Rogue One, as a reward for kowtowing to Disney.

While we loved the new images, they lacked a certain sophistication. Which is why we at Stormtrooper Larry took it upon ourselves to improve the Rogue One spread.

You’re welcome, EW!

Death troopers

rockstar

Did you know that the dreaded Death Troopers are NOT what they are? They’re actually the galaxy’s most famous heavy metal band! Don’t believe the Rebel propaganda, Death Troopers rock!

In fact here they are doing a shoot for Star Wars Super Soakers:

rogue one death troopers beach leak funny

And a holozine spread for Good Housekeeping’s Summer Catalog 2016:

rogue one deathtrooper stormtrooper doll leak funny

Support the Death Troopers, buy their album today!

Stormtroopers

This is the real reason for the Rogue One reshoot: it ain’t a Disney film without a song and dance number.

rogue one stormtroopers funny leak

Baze and Chirrut

 Allegedly, Baze is a heavy weapons specialist, while Chirrut is a blind warrior who follows the path of the Jedi. But there’s more to these two than meets the eye.

Baze is actually an enterprising businessman who diverts the Rebellion’s meager supplies for sale on the black market:

rogue one baze leak funny

What Baze doesn’t know is that his “blind” buddy Chirrut has a secret of his own:

chirrut baze rogue one leak funny

What a bunch of lowlifes. Truly despicable Rebel scum.

The Tech Guy

Every crew has a techie guy. For the Rogue crew, they have Weed Ahmed:

rogue one riz ahmed leak funny

“Going against a laser moon and a space wizard? That be crazy man! I’ll have what you’re smoking.”

The Death Star raid

According to Disney, this is one of the scenes that had to be reshot for Rogue One to get a PG rating. In this scene, Jyn Erso and an unidentified male lead celebrate in a trash compactor after successfully stealing the Death Star plans:

rogue one jyn erso leak sexy funny

“Dammit Larry, hurry up will you? We’re gonna get caught!”

“Im… almost… done… Jyn.”

Detective Krennic

Following the theft of the Death Star blueprints, the Empire sends its most capable inspector to track the suspects… Detective Orson Krennic.

rogue one director krenic leak funny

“A discarded disguise, counterfeit access cards, and a used condom… This was obviously the work of Stormtrooper Larry. All elementary, my dear Tarkin.”

 

All things Star Wars, by a wacky First Order stormtrooper in the Outer Rim!