Tag Archives: colin trevorrow

Star Wars Episode VIII According to a Spambot!

Last time, we looked at the Rogue One visual guide book leak through the eyes of a spambot.

Today, while stuck in a boring synergy meeting, Stormtrooper Larry wandered over to the ol’ spam site again, to see its penetrating insights on Star Wars Episode VIII.

Here’s what we found.

We may well be years clear of the release of Star Wars Episode VIII, however as The Pressure Awakens taught us, that point can fly earlier in no time.

Little is understood approximately what VIII’s tale will cling, however we do recognize that it’s going to pick out up immediately after The Drive Awakens, with Rey having found out Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts, as showed by way of the teaser trailer.

Clearly this bot has memory issues. Which is it: The Pressure Awakens or The Drive Awakens? Next thing you’ll be saying it’s The Exertion Rouses!

star wars force awakens funny

Profound questions

Despite the bot’s dementia, it was insightful enough to ask penetrating questions:

The Drive Awakens left many questions unanswered. Who’s Rey in reality? Is Finn Drive delicate? What is with C-3PO’s pink arm? Why is R2-D2, the bearer of all wisdom who refuses to inform any person anything else, this sort of dick?

So in the intervening years between The Pressure Awakens and Episode VIII, it seems Threepio’s arm has changed from red to pink. That prissy droid changes arms like a handbag.

Forget about whether Finn is Force sensitive… the real question is: is he Drive delicate? And more importantly, why is R2-D2 such a goddawful dick? Those are the hard-hitting questions that fans demand to know, Abrams!

r2d2 funnyI swear Artoo, you’re such a dick!

A pleasurable solution to Rey

Colin Trevorrow, who will probably be directing Episode IX, has already promised us a “profoundly pleasurable” solution to the thriller surrounding Rey’s oldsters.

“Rey is a personality that may be essential on this universe, now not simply within the context of The Pressure Awakens, however in all of the galaxy,” he stated. “She merits it. We’re going to be sure that that solution is one thing that feels love it used to be one thing that came about a very long time in the past, a long way away, and we are simply telling you what came about.”

While we don’t understand a single word about the solution to Rey’s oldsters, we’re thrilled to know it will be a “profoundly pleasurable” one. In fact, we feel a disturbance in the Pressure, as if a million voices sighed with anticipation, from Reywalkers to Reynobis.

Torn between the darkness and the sunshine

The Drive Awakens ended with a wounded Kylo Ren being taken to Very best Chief Snoke to finish his coaching – however what does that imply?

We think one of the most movie will display Luke coaching Rey, reminiscent of his personal coaching from Yoda in The Empire Moves Again. It is going to even be fascinating to peer how Kylo Ren’s personality develops. He simply murdered his personal father, however he is nonetheless conflicted among the darkish aspect and the sunshine – or used to be Han’s dying the general a part of his transition to Sith?

Well if you ask us, Stormtrooper Larry thinks that Ben’s “simple murder” of his personal father cemented him into the darkish part of the Pressure.

We also think that Very best Chief Snoke isn’t a Sith (they became extinct in Recurrence of the Jedi), but that guy surely ain’t part of the sunshine.

kylo ren torn apart funny.gif

Btw, anybody got a copy of The Empire Moves Again?

 

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Han Solo Spinoff: Shooting Starts Jan. 2017, For Release on May 2018

Last week, the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival awarded director Lawrence Kasdan with its first ever Icon Award for Contributions to the Cinematic Arts.

While most Star Wars fans couldn’t care less, the occasion allowed the Atlanta Business Chronicle to corner Kasdan and interrogate him about Star Wars stuff Bespin-style!

Here’s the choice intel from the interview, including a sick burn about the prequels:

  • The Han Solo film will start shooting in January 2017 in London. Kasdan and his son Jon have finished the story treatment, and the script is now in the hands of the directors Chris Miller and Phil Lord.
  • It’s scheduled for release on May 2018, 7 months before Episode IX. This makes it the only movie in the new franchise to screen outside of December (in contrast to Rogue One, Episode VIII, and Episode IX).
  • Kasdan was originally part of the Episode 7 story group alongside Michael Ardnt, who then backed out due to the time pressure involved. Later, J.J. Abrams took over Episode 7 and Kasdan found himself concentrating on the Han Solo standalone film, while consulting for The Force Awakens.
  • He claims to have little information on the complete story arc of the new trilogy. However, he is friends with Episode VIII director Rian Johnson, and he’s getting to know Episode IX’s director Colin Trevorrow.
  • Kasdan says that despite the overwhelming expectation of writing a Star Wars film, “it’s not that much pressure.” And here’s the reason why:

What the pressure is — you don’t want to disappoint people. That’s all. And you’re hoping in the case of the series that it’s an installment that people like, because there are installments people don’t like. So, you want to rectify that.

When asked if he was alluding to the prequels (which he didn’t write), Lawrence Kasdan just laughed politely. Remember, this is the guy who wrote the screenplay for The Empire Strikes Back. For Kasdan, there are no such things as Gungans or little Anis.

Disney is on Star Wars overdrive. They’ve established the norm of shooting two films simultaneously, and starting work on the next movie as soon as one is finished. In 2015, Rogue One began shooting just as work on The Force Awakens wound down. And three months before TFA even screened, the crew were back in Skellig Michael start on Episode VIII.

Right now, Disney has two films in production: Rogue One and Episode VIII. Right after Rogue One screens in December, work will then shift to Han Solo.

So what does this mean for fans? It means that 2017 will be a deluge of Star Wars.

First we will have the much-awaited Episode VIII by Christmas next year. Then we’ll see the young Han Solo by summer, barely enough time for the previous film to come out on Blueray. Finally, the biggest mama-jama of all, the trilogy-ending Episode IX, will debut 6 months later.

There has never been this much Star Wars stuff. For the original trilogy and the prequels, fans had to wait 3-5 years between each movie. Today, Disney has cut down the waiting time to between 6 months to 1 year. Could this zeal lead us to peak Star Wars and a saturated market? Only time will tell.

For true Star Wars however, the more the better.