Tag Archives: rogue one fiction

Rogue One: Photoshopped Visual Guide Leak!

We have less than 24 hours before Star Wars Celebration and the next trailer for Rogue One!

So before the new trailer drops, it’s time we revealed exclusive Rogue One leaks from the official visual guide book, courtesy of Stormtrooper Larry!

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Click to expand the images. Enjoy!


The plot

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Between the ragtag Rebellion and the tyrannical Galactic Empire stands a mysterious figure known only as “Stormtrooper Larry”.

While his ultimate allegiance is unknown, one thing is certain. The mysterious person behind the helmet has incredibly good looks more devastating than the Death Star’s superlaser.

The villains

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As expected, it’s a bunch of people who loves masks and dress in either black or white. They also speak with a stiff British upper lip.

The sole exception is a mysterious Gungan with an annoying high-pitched Jamaican accent. Rumor is this secret apprentice of Darth Vader is even higher up than Director Krennic, and personally designed the Death Star’s exhaust port.

A new Imperial Walker

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Who cares about a boring cargo carrier? Check out the Emperor’s personal walker, the ACH-OUCH.

This 2-ton monstrosity is both too heavy and too cumbersome for practical use. In fact, it takes full mastery of the dark side just to lift the damn thing, and it’s the reason why Palpatine became a stooped geezer.

But the Emperor can’t be seen using just any old walker. It can only be the Imperial Walker.

The U-wing

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Before the Rebellion got their fancy Incom X-wings and Y-wings, they had to make do with cheap-ass starfighters. The U-wing is actually short for “Yugo-Wing”. Mon Mothma acquired a dozen of the shitty econo-boxes from Watto’s Used Ship Lot (as-is, no warranty).

The TIE Wheelchair

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Not to be outdone by the Rebellion, the Imperial Navy fielded an ever shittier starfighter. The TIE Wheelchair was assigned to whiny TIE pilots who complained about the lack of shields, life support and peripheral awareness in the regular TIE fighter.

TIE Wheelchair pilots had a 400% combat mortality rate. They were unable to take part in the Battle of Yavin after the whole corps was depleted in Rogue One.

The Imperial hovertank

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We don’t know yet if it’s really a tank or the Imperial version of a Humvee. But damn, that is one weird-looking tank trooper.

And yet, it’s still better than those idiotic Shoretroopers.