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Rogue One: 1st Wave of Titanium Vehicles Revealed

Historically, one of the biggest sources of Star Wars leaks has been merchandising. For Rogue One, we’ve already had the Edelweiss book leak, the Lego constructs, and the even juicier Lego ship sets (for which Lego’s legal team actually contacted us).

Today, we have yet another leak, and it comes from Stormtrooper Larry’s favorite toy line: the Hasbro Titanium series.

The Titanium line are 3-inch diecast models of Star Wars ships, all the way from the Original Trilogy to last year’s The Force Awakens. For 2016, we’ve received intel on what the first wave of Rogue One Titaniums will be.

These are:

The U-wing

This is the combination gunship / troop carrier of the Rebellion, similar to the old Republic LAAT

The TIE Striker

For this ship, the retail codename is “Raven”. However, since the Hotwheels 2-pack version is labeled “Raven Deluxe vs. X-wing”, our source may be wrong. The Raven may actually be the regular TIE fighter, while the TIE Striker might be under the codename Raven Deluxe

The black Imperial Shuttle

.This shuttle is NEITHER the old Lambda-class, nor the huge black ship that gets blown up in the trailer. It appears to be a totally new design we haven’t seen officially yet.

Codename “Vulture”

No further information

Codename “Owl”

No further information

Interestingly, this is the first time we’ve heard of the “Vulture” and the “Owl”, since neither were included in the leaked Italian version of the Lego May-Dec 2016 catalog.

During the prequel era of the 2000’s, the first Titanium leaks came from Hong Kong and China, as Hasbro’s partner factories sold the product prototypes on eBay. So if you’re looking for the first glimpse of a Rogue One Titanium, go eastward!

Update:

We’ve just received intel that toy manufacturer Mattel is cracking down on their similarly sized Hot Wheels Starships. The first mention of the “Raven” came from a product listing of Hot Wheels 2-ship packs, which had “Raven Deluxe vs X-wing” among the case.

US retailers have reportedly been told to scrub the product from their online listings. According to our source, 4-case shipments will now be comprised of:

2x Slave I vs. Jedi Starfighter
1x Star Destroyer vs. Mon Calamari Cruiser
1x Ghost vs. TIE Fighter (Rebels)

If this is accurate, they doubled the “Slave I vs Jedi Starfighter” packs to replace the “Raven vs. X-wing”. Or it may just be a smokescreen to shield the Rogue One pack that will be included in the 4-pack case.

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Rogue One Photoshop Bonanza!

This week, Entertainment Weekly released a bunch of exclusive photos on Rogue One, as a reward for kowtowing to Disney.

While we loved the new images, they lacked a certain sophistication. Which is why we at Stormtrooper Larry took it upon ourselves to improve the Rogue One spread.

You’re welcome, EW!

Death troopers

rockstar

Did you know that the dreaded Death Troopers are NOT what they are? They’re actually the galaxy’s most famous heavy metal band! Don’t believe the Rebel propaganda, Death Troopers rock!

In fact here they are doing a shoot for Star Wars Super Soakers:

rogue one death troopers beach leak funny

And a holozine spread for Good Housekeeping’s Summer Catalog 2016:

rogue one deathtrooper stormtrooper doll leak funny

Support the Death Troopers, buy their album today!

Stormtroopers

This is the real reason for the Rogue One reshoot: it ain’t a Disney film without a song and dance number.

rogue one stormtroopers funny leak

Baze and Chirrut

 Allegedly, Baze is a heavy weapons specialist, while Chirrut is a blind warrior who follows the path of the Jedi. But there’s more to these two than meets the eye.

Baze is actually an enterprising businessman who diverts the Rebellion’s meager supplies for sale on the black market:

rogue one baze leak funny

What Baze doesn’t know is that his “blind” buddy Chirrut has a secret of his own:

chirrut baze rogue one leak funny

What a bunch of lowlifes. Truly despicable Rebel scum.

The Tech Guy

Every crew has a techie guy. For the Rogue crew, they have Weed Ahmed:

rogue one riz ahmed leak funny

“Going against a laser moon and a space wizard? That be crazy man! I’ll have what you’re smoking.”

The Death Star raid

According to Disney, this is one of the scenes that had to be reshot for Rogue One to get a PG rating. In this scene, Jyn Erso and an unidentified male lead celebrate in a trash compactor after successfully stealing the Death Star plans:

rogue one jyn erso leak sexy funny

“Dammit Larry, hurry up will you? We’re gonna get caught!”

“Im… almost… done… Jyn.”

Detective Krennic

Following the theft of the Death Star blueprints, the Empire sends its most capable inspector to track the suspects… Detective Orson Krennic.

rogue one director krenic leak funny

“A discarded disguise, counterfeit access cards, and a used condom… This was obviously the work of Stormtrooper Larry. All elementary, my dear Tarkin.”