Tag Archives: rogue one superlaser

EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Cuts of Rogue One Before the Reshoot!

Last week, the entire holonet was panicking over rumors that Rogue One was headed for reshoot. Today, we can share the real reason for the controversy: a key cast member is leaving the film.

According to production insiders, a mysterious cast member known only as “Larry” had a pay dispute with studio execs. Disney supposedly cut the celebrity A-lister’s salary and chose to spend it on VFX for “an orange alien with a Jamaican accent”.

Now that Larry has left Rogue One, we can finally share the original cut before Disney’s meddling.

rogue one crew posterThe Rogue crew actually get their name from a mysterious stormtrooper who goes rogue to help the fledgling Rebellion: Stormtrooper FU-1287, aka “Larry”.

rogue one tank trooper“A universe with repulsor technology and they insist on foot patrols. Can’t FUCKING wait for my turn on the tank.”

rogue one bacta tank“Dammit your highness, not again! If you keep peeping with your creepy thugs, I’m switching over to the rebels!”

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Ben Mendelsohn) Ph: Film Frame ©Lucasfilm LFL“Our holonet transmissions were hacked by a defecting trooper. Find this rogue soldier… and kill him.”

 

rogue one death star leak“A major weapons test is imminent, but Disney ordered a retest of the weapons test. This gives us time to infiltrate it.”

“I just escaped from that fucking death ball Mon Mothma. You seriously expect me to go back?”

rogue one mon mothma“Forgery of imperial documents, possession of stolen property, aggravated assault, resisting arrest.”

“Don’t forget the prostitution and public obscenity in Nar Shadaa.”

running“Why are we (pant) running… K2?”

“Jyn skimped on the tip again.”

rogue one chirrut“Here’s the deal. First one to walk away doesn’t get a katana in the ass. Offer expires in 10 seconds.”

 jyn erso rogue one leak“Shit, it’s a dead end! I got a bad feeling about this.”

“Um… how about we surrender?”

rogue one at-act“I thought you said they were cargo trucks!”

rogue one jyn erso window“Jyn. Promise me you’ll come back.”

“I will. It’s not like Vader will show up or anything.”


Did you know:

  • Tom Hardy, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise all auditioned for Rogue One? In the end, it was Stormtrooper Larry’s convincing performance and rugged good looks that landed the role.
  • Larry’s defection to the Alliance was caused not by his moral conscience, but by the Emperor’s habit of peeping in the Death Star’s shower room every Tuesday.
  • The original ending pitted Darth Vader against Larry, who was armed only with a nightstick, two packs of gum and a used receipt from Watto’s Emporium. Larry bought valuable time for Jyn to transmit the plans, sacrificing his life in the process.
  • Stormtrooper Larry’s identity remains a secret — he never removed his helmet on set, despite co-star Felicity Jones’ repeated attempts to get in his pants.
  • Most of these facts were written while I was stuck in a boring meeting.

We’ll release more original footage from our Rogue One insider, so stay tuned! In the meantime, check out the REAL Episode 8 photo posted by director Rian Johnson before Disney whitewashed it.

Advertisements

Rogue One: The Mystery of the Orange Crates

Back in 2015, Hollywood gossip site TMZ got a juicy look behind the scenes of Rogue One. Specifically, they were able to get spy shots of the tropical planet set that Jyn and her crew will infiltrate:

rogue one spy photo

Apart from the First Order dropship-like ramp, one other thing stood out in this photo. Let’s take a closer look:

rogue one spy photo 2

Do you see it? There’s a bunch of orange capsules on set. They were also present in other set pieces for Rogue One:

rogue one spy photo 3

A closer look at the mysterious crates:

rogue one orange boxes.jpg

These spy shots were taken in September 2015 in a soundstage in North London.

Then in April, we got the first trailer for Rogue One. And once again, the mysterious crates were present. This time they were stowed in an armored vehicle convoy:

rogue one crate

The Rogue One Lego sets leak last week confirmed that the hovertank thingy is carrying orange boxes:

rogue one lego hovertank leak orange box.jpgUnfortunately we had to blur out the rest of the pic lest LEGO come after Stormtrooper Larry’s ass again

So what’s in them orange boxes? Making Star Wars thinks it has the answer: kyber crystals. MSW’s source says the orange boxes were called “kyber crystal crates” on set, and they were being mined from a mountain side.

According to Wookieepedia, kyber crystals are rare, naturally occurring crystals “resonating” with the Force. They were famously used as the lightsaber’s power source by both the Jedi and the Sith, and getting one was part of a youngling’s initiation in order to become a padawan.

kylo ren lightsaber crystal.pngA cross-section of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. It had a cracked kyber crystal, resulting in an unstable beam and excess energy that was vented out in the crossguards.

More importantly, they were used as the basis for the old Sith Empire’s superweapons:

There were also larger, rarer crystals of great power and that, according to legend, were used at the heart of ancient superweapons by the Sith.

Interestingly, the Star Wars databank entry for the Death Star superlaser mentions kyber crystals as well:

Each of the Empire’s Death Stars were built around a terrifying weapon —  a superlaser array capable of destroying an entire planet. According to legend, the ancient Sith used massive kyber crystals to create superweapons; during the Clone Wars, the Geonosians revived the superlaser design.

Here we can infer two things:

1. The Death Star isn’t the first superlaser weapon, but the latest in a long tradition of superweapons by the Sith. They really love big lasers.

2. Like its predecessors, the Death Star’s superlaser is likely powered by kyber crystals.

This makes sense. Since kyber crystals were used to focus energy into a lightsaber’s blade, they’re also the perfect choice for focusing superlaser streams into a single, poweful beam that could obliterate an entire planet. In essence, the Death Star is one giant lightsaber, albeit one that unleashes its energy in one massive, instantaneous blast instead of a less powerful but steady stream.

So what does this mean for Rogue One? If the Death Star is indeed powered by kyber crystals, the Rogue crew would run into these orange crystal crates as they infiltrate the Imperial base and steal the plans.

If you notice, the leaked TMZ photos show what looks like an underground entrance. This fits in with MSW’s underground mine / mountainside theory of where the Empire gets the crystals:

spy photo rogue one set.jpg

The crates themselves might be the plot device that would clue the Alliance in on what the Empire is building. After all, you don’t harvest shuttle-fulls of rare, laser-focusing crystals just for a lightshow in Coruscant.

Our guess is, that hovertank convoy in the trailer will be ambushed by Jyn’s crew. Then when the Empire gets tired of its crystal convoys getting blown by IEDs, it resorts to a new type of cargo carrier: the AT-ACT.

at-act rogue one.jpgTry stealing the crystals now bitches!