Tag Archives: star wars fun

Rogue One Photoshop Bonanza!

This week, Entertainment Weekly released a bunch of exclusive photos on Rogue One, as a reward for kowtowing to Disney.

While we loved the new images, they lacked a certain sophistication. Which is why we at Stormtrooper Larry took it upon ourselves to improve the Rogue One spread.

You’re welcome, EW!

Death troopers

rockstar

Did you know that the dreaded Death Troopers are NOT what they are? They’re actually the galaxy’s most famous heavy metal band! Don’t believe the Rebel propaganda, Death Troopers rock!

In fact here they are doing a shoot for Star Wars Super Soakers:

rogue one death troopers beach leak funny

And a holozine spread for Good Housekeeping’s Summer Catalog 2016:

rogue one deathtrooper stormtrooper doll leak funny

Support the Death Troopers, buy their album today!

Stormtroopers

This is the real reason for the Rogue One reshoot: it ain’t a Disney film without a song and dance number.

rogue one stormtroopers funny leak

Baze and Chirrut

 Allegedly, Baze is a heavy weapons specialist, while Chirrut is a blind warrior who follows the path of the Jedi. But there’s more to these two than meets the eye.

Baze is actually an enterprising businessman who diverts the Rebellion’s meager supplies for sale on the black market:

rogue one baze leak funny

What Baze doesn’t know is that his “blind” buddy Chirrut has a secret of his own:

chirrut baze rogue one leak funny

What a bunch of lowlifes. Truly despicable Rebel scum.

The Tech Guy

Every crew has a techie guy. For the Rogue crew, they have Weed Ahmed:

rogue one riz ahmed leak funny

“Going against a laser moon and a space wizard? That be crazy man! I’ll have what you’re smoking.”

The Death Star raid

According to Disney, this is one of the scenes that had to be reshot for Rogue One to get a PG rating. In this scene, Jyn Erso and an unidentified male lead celebrate in a trash compactor after successfully stealing the Death Star plans:

rogue one jyn erso leak sexy funny

“Dammit Larry, hurry up will you? We’re gonna get caught!”

“Im… almost… done… Jyn.”

Detective Krennic

Following the theft of the Death Star blueprints, the Empire sends its most capable inspector to track the suspects… Detective Orson Krennic.

rogue one director krenic leak funny

“A discarded disguise, counterfeit access cards, and a used condom… This was obviously the work of Stormtrooper Larry. All elementary, my dear Tarkin.”

 

Awesome First Order Recruitment Leaflet from Mad Magazine!

Would you join a bunch of murderers, traitors and thieves? Or would you rather wear plastic armor and bring order to the galaxy? We don’t know about you, but it definitely won’t be the Resistance scum for Stormtrooper Larry!

The hilarious a-holes behind Mad Magazine just released a recruitment pamphlet for the First Order. Building on the success of their Force Awakens issue last February, the gang of idiots is back with a second helping of Star Wars.

This time, they’re shilling for the “good guys” and their three Ts policy: Terror, Tyranny and Totalitarianism. But they can’t do it without some fresh blaster fodder. Prospective “fear ambassadors” (sounds like a Disney term) will get to chill their ass off in Starkiller Base, enjoy some sun in Jakku, and march along endless gray corridors awaiting rebel saboteurs in the time-honored stormtrooper tradition.

mad magazine first order pamphlet 1.jpg

Exciting activities include carrying out pro-active population control policies, marching in perfect formation, standing around in rows while Kylo Ren makes his grand entrance, and learning how to use one of those “spinny laser-baton thingies”.

You never know when you need to stop a traitor with a lightsaber!

mad magazine first order pamphlet 2

It’s nice to know that health coverage now extends to lightsaber dismemberments, Wookiee dismemberments, and Ewok-related injuries. Unfortunately it seems that most troopers still don’t enjoy free prescription lenses, which account for the majority of missed stormtrooper shots.*

We also get a nice tidbit about the new stormtrooper armor. It’s 3% more effective than before, offering almost 15% greater protection against blaster fire! As long as your serial number isn’t FN-2003….

mad magazine first order pamphlet 3

The Kickstarter is a nice touch. With the fall of the Empire, the new organization had to scrape the funds for their own death ball. And what better way to raise credits than to crowdsource it?

While Jedis don’t crave adventure and excitement, Star Wars fans do. So fuck the light side, go and sign up with the winning side. Join the First Order through Mad Magazine today!

The digital issue is available now, while the printed version will come out on June 14.

*Poor eyesight and helmet design account for 95.5% of all missed blaster shots by stormtroopers, based on an in-depth study pulled from Stormtrooper Larry’s ass.

 

VIDEO: Chewbacca Lady vs. Stormtrooper Larry!

Stormtrooper FU-1287 faces off against the notorious Wookiee impersonator “Chewbacca Mask Lady“, wanted in over twelve Toys R Us systems!

 Check out our Holovids section for more Stormtrooper Larry videos!